Text chat notifications

Discord DM notifications doesnt work - in the real world scenarios

I cannot rely on Discord when I want to direct message someone...
The notification sound is there (if enabled) and you can switch on 'Taskbar Flashing', but in my experience none of that is sufficient to get a person's (or my own) attention.

I've missed so many DM's only realizing someone chatted me an hour or 2 ago...
I've also DM'd people and they never responded, only coming back to me later, saying they missed the chat.
Basically the only way is to spam someone with tons of DM's quickly to force them to look what the eff is going on (if they have sounds/notification settings setup).

Thus we cant reliably contact and chat with each other - even if we are constantly online in Discord.

Could there be any way to have a popup setting in taskbar or something a bit more eye catching or distinguishable? (optional ofc!)
Or make the sound of DM's different and more noticeable
Or allow us to change the sound.
Maybe even make it so you can select who you get priority notifications from.

Ties in to this post, i suppose - this could also alleviate the problem above:
https://support.discordapp.com/hc/en-us/community/posts/360030113772-poke-feature